My Sketchbook, my Life

just cause...

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Even the most disappointing and heart breaking things in life

can still be made beautiful..

if you give a mouse..... some spackle?

If you have not heard or read the children's books... "If you give a moose a muffin" or "If you give a mouse a cookie"  go give them a read.. really cute.  Unfortunately (or fortunately-depending on how you look at it) My day yesterday could have been next in the series.....

 

Me: Dear hubby, today I am going to patch the holes in the kids bathroom walls....

Sweet kiss goodbye.  Have a good day dear.

Spackle fills holes in wall.

Me: "Well, I am going to have to repaint now" (big holes).  I have never liked this wall color, I should just repaint the bathroom in a nicer color"

Paint samples applied to wall.

Me: "Well if I am going to repaint, I might as well redo the moulding strips.  I have been dying to add "batten and board" look to the walls, so I might as well do the moulding now too.  Then repaint.

Mouldings get ripped off.

Moulding started to be attached to walls.

Me: "While I have the baseboards off..... I really should consider tiling the floor.  I never liked the cheap linoleum we had to put in here when we built.  It was really only a temporary fix until we could afford some tile.  And to tile, you have to take off the baseboards.  I really don't want to take them off again."

Linoleum gets ripped up.

Tile samples cover floor.

Ugh.....

Cabinet does not match tile I like.

Me:  I would love to have a new bathroom vanity... no funds...next best solution-

Repaint bathroom cabinet...

First coat of paint applied.

Hubby comes home.

Mouldings stipped from wall.  Linoleum Floor ripped from floor.  Vanity repainted with first coat of new paint. 

Hubby:  I thought you were just going to fill the holes......

turning 80...

She has been there since my birth... 

So many of my childhood memories surround her.  And today she turns 80 years old.

I could never do wrong in her eyes.  Right or wrong- that was the way it was.  I have been told that my whole life, and maybe that is part of what has given me such a special love for this women. 

Grandma's house was a place I always wanted to be.

(yes, that is me with the Princess Lea braided buns.!)

 I remember the smell of fresh baked wheat bread.

The feel of that green shag carpet. 

The smell of her as we sat together on the couch to read books. The box of books, she loved to read to us.  Storytime would last as long as we were interested.  The books never ended.  When the box was read through, the hall closet magically brought forth more books. 

The freedom I felt exploring their backyard- and the field that lived beyond them.  It was a place full of discoveries waiting to unfold.  Horses, roosters, chickens, and even for a time, our two found rabbits.  The mangled dangers -but sweet rewards- of the rasberry bushes...the hidden tunnels the grapevine created as they grew against the side cinderblock wall, and the forest of make-believe where we would play house in the dense coverings of the pine trees and shrubs. 

The smell of the sheets in the fairest room of all- the blue room.  In that room held the dresser full of "stuff".  I remember sitting for hours going throught the drawers of primnary activites, picture books, coloring pages, felt stories boards- all collected from years of my grandmother's primary service.

The endless trinkets and the magical top drawer of Grandmas dresser- full of the finest and most beautiful costume jewelry a little girl's eyes could behold.  We were queens, my sister and I, (even sometimes my brother!) as we stood in front of her bedroom mirror, and adorned ourselves with her sacred earrings, necklaces, rings, and brooches. 

She was has been there for all my earthly milestones.  My birth, my blessing.  My baptism. 

Birthdays.  Neighborhood boy crushes...

 
My wedding. 

And now she is here to read stories to my children, and I see how they too, now, can do no wrong in her eyes.

And I love it.

 

Happy Birthday Grandma.

journal entry....2 {enjoy now}

I had one of those moments the other day while with Madi.  You know, those moments when life seems to take on a different meaning and you grow a deeper love and appreciation for the teaching moments our Heavenly Father gives us.  Those moments that if not careful, pass by unnoticed.

BUsy, Busy, Busy... I was running errands with Madi.  We were driving to the millionth store and all the while dragging her alongside of me.  Regrettably I admit, wishing I was alone, so I could get things done 10 times faster. From the seat behind me,  Madi was telling a story that she had to proudly made up- it was nothing less than a masterpiece to her.  Her joy, her sweetness not deterred or underminded by my mundane tasks.  I was only half listening to her as I parked, gather my things, and thoughts of rushing, to get in and out of the store in record time, were in my mind.  I glanced in my rearview mirror for a moment, beauty radiated from her, I looked at her and could not turn away from the happiness that shown on her face.  It was a day out with mom- to her she knew nothing else except she had me all to herself, no sister or brother to compete with for my attention.  it was just her and I.  The Spirit whispered so softly to me... "stop...- don't miss these moments.  They will be gone too quickly.  Enjoy her now.  Enjoy her now." 

You know, I just need that reminder every now and then when I get so caught up with "duties" of life.  I am thankful that the Spirit helped me to remember, to remember these moments.  I spent the rest of "our day" running errands, holding her hand, enjoying her sweet company.

inspiration

I {heart} music.

 

I have loved it since I was a little girl.  I remember sitting at our piano probably when I was about preschool age, making up songs and singing to them.  I remember my mom asking me "where did you learn that song"  and proudly in my mind it was my masterpiece.  {shorty after this I believe I started piano lessons} 

I have been thinking about the piano lately.  A very untelevised thing about me, was I played piano really well.  No, I mean, ReallY well.  Now I am definitley not tooting my horn, because, you see, after the 11 years of study and practice, and dedication it took to get that way.  I gave it up.  And to sit down at a piano now after all these years of not playing, it is soooooo frustrating not to be able to play hardly anything at all.  Because I remember how I use to be able to play, and to see how much I have digressed- it is shameful.  I was telling Mr.S the other night, that this is one of my biggest regrets in life.

I have been thinking alot about the talents we are given from our Heavenly Father, and how sometimes we just toss carelessly aside the gifts we are given.  I feel saddened now, and I do see how what we are given, can be taken away.  It remindes me of this quote by Elder Packer:

"Whence comes this gift?  And gift it is.  You may have cultivated it and developed it, but it was given to you.  Most of us do not have it.  You were not more deserving than we, but you are a good deal more responsible.  If you use your gift properly, opportunities for sevice are opened that will be beneficial eternally for you and for others."

{I am working to reclaim this gift.}

 

okay that went to a slight tangent but here is where that was coming from

I have been listening to this song on a huge dose of repeat the last few days.  Ever do that?  Fall in love with a song all over again... I am learning to play it on the piano. 

Beatles:

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Black bird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise,
You were only waiting for this moment to arise,
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

 

Well to me music is a source of inspiration - and this week it help me create these.  (they will be in my esty shop soon!

 

filled...

like millions of mormons around the world I watched General Conference this weekend.  I love this weekend, I anxiously wait for it every 6 months.  I love to be filled, and renewed- I love to hear the teachings and the testimonies of the leaders of the church.   This weekend being no exception.  I have my favorites for sure, but there is one that I listened to and has not left my mind.  And for anyone else that listened or watched Elder Holland's talk, I am sure you feel the same way.  I can not imagine anyone watching it and not feeling the strength and truth in his words. 

If you missed it, you should watch it.  It will always be a favorite of mine:

{to watch it: click on the link below, then click on Sunday PM session, then click on Elder Jeffrey R. Holland} 

http://www.lds.org/move/index.html?type=conference&event=Oct179&lang=english

or if you just want to listen to it  click here for the audio:

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Another of my most favorites was on Saturday- Elder Hales

Here is the link to his audio

journal entry....1 {patience}

 

Patience is a virtue... a virtue that I do not do very well at.  I think of Heavenly Father, and the perfect patience that He has, that He is able to work with me & help me when I lack the patience myself.  I see how the little trials of daily life are little chances everyday to try to develop this celestial virtue- this quality that escapes me so frequently. 

Even more than the daily life- the heavier trials I am, and have been going through in my life- how they have changed me into who I am today... but still I see how much patience is going to be needed to fully endure them.  Elder Maxwell said "Part of enduring well consists of being meek enough, amid our suffering, to learn from our relevant experiences.  Rather than simply passing through these things, they must pass through us and do so in ways which sanctify these experiences for our good."

I read this and I look at my life right now and I see really how much patience is the key in order to succeed- to endure well.  If there is ever a time that has tried and tested my patience beyond what I think I can do- it is now.  So I pray every night that Heavenly Father will help me learn how to more fully develop this gift of patience.... this quality that has for so long eluded me.  And then I had this experience one night as I prayed:

Me:  ...Heavenly Father, if thou could please help me to hurry and learn patience.....

silence......realization what I had just asked......

silence.....humility.....

understanding.... 

I stopped- realizing what I had just said... and if there was ever a time when I have felt the patient, sense of humor I believe our Heavenly Father has - it was at that moment...   a laugh escaped my lips, as I contemplated my need to "hurry and learn patience"....

I saw my folly, and understood.  And I truely, at that moment, felt Heavenly Father smile upon me too-

I believe He laughed along with me.

"There is no way to go around life.  The only way is to go through.  How... could the Lord teach us patience without the dimension of time and without also providing for us the relevant experiences?"

-Neal A. Maxwell (Not My Will, But Thine   p.11)

 

 

A New Season...

Yep, I'm back.  I have debating within myself if I really was going to keep this blog going.  But if not any other reason, than it is one other thing I can do -instead of doing what I am suppose to be doing. 

Summer is over-and autumn is here!  I Love FALL!!  Which means ...Schools Back in.  I am experiencing for the first time life with all the kids in school all day.   I have been enjoying the time to really figure out what I want to do.  Some days the hours go by so fast, I don't get half of the things finished I had planned to while the kids are at school.  But then there are those days that the minutes seem to drag on and it seems forever before the clock will tell me its 3:30, and my home will be filled with the level of commotion that I am use to.  It has definitely reinforced to me that I am moving on to the next stage of being a mother.  No more little ones at home.  No more cribs, no more diapers, no more tantrums in the middle of Walmart... but no more rocking to sleep, no more midday naps together, no more tugging on the legs because they want to be held.  I don't feel sad, just a definite feeling that a season in my life has ended and a new one begun.  I am excited to be here, I am excited to watch them grow up.  I am excited to help them discover their talents, their passions, and to help them grow through a more independent time in their life. 

And I'm off!!!

to see the big apple.  I lived in New jersey for a couple years as a girl (around 7th-8th grade I believe)  and went to the city a few times.  I remember the smell, the street cart pretzels and hotdogs... and remember thinking everyone and everything moved at an incredible pace.  I LOVED IT.  still do, and I am so excited to get to go this weekend.  Nate, never being out east before is in for a treat.  I think if I was still young and reckless, I would love to live in that city.

... oh and you haven't truely eaten pizza until you have eaten New York pizza. 

just fyi

Be back Monday!

i am in pain

So When I was in highschool I took a snowboarding class -once.  I have skiied since I was in 5th grade, and I manage myself quite well on skis.  But tonight we went to Park City Resort, and took Lauren and Carter just for some night skiing (3:30-7:30)  They each had taken a snowboarding lesson, and learned pretty fast, so Nate & I thought we would just take them to refresh their skills, and do no lessons this time, since it was only for a couple of hours.  Well the kids did great!  Nate & I thought since we would be with the kids the whole time, skiing might not be as fun, since we would be having to stay at the kids speed. So we decided to try snowboarding too.  Ugh.  Let's just say he and the kids went down the hill twice in the time I did once.  Holy crap  I am in so much pain.  This 30something body, does not work like my 16 year old body did.  I beat it up tonight, and it is paying me back.  Big time.  If I can move in the morning it will be a miracle.  I have decided snowboarding is something you learn to do when you are young, or you don't do it.  Maybe, I will join in Carters class next time. 

Not ME:

 

ME: